Tag Archives: Weight Loss

159

Down another 3 pounds! It’s been quite a while since I weighed in. I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t been flawless with diet and exercise, but I’d bet I’ve been about 90%. Apparently it’s been enough to keep me moving in the right direction.

Quite frankly, it was a relief. Because I’ve been putting off this weigh in for so long, part of me felt sure that I’d screwed up my diet once again. 3 pounds in the last month isn’t spectacular weight loss, but I’d take small weight loss/maintenance any day over gaining ANY weight back.

I’ve hit another milestone as well. Back when I first started losing weight last year, one of my goals was to reach 160 so I could qualify for the Army’s height and weight standards. So here I am, totally qualified. 🙂 I like that a lot. Now of course it’s kinda funny to see that as my milestone because I’ve completely lost every desire to join the military.

I was kinda using the Military goal as an escape. Sometimes it’s scary to think about how serious I’d gotten about it. Now that I have other better plans for my life I can realize that I was just so unhappy and lacked direction. Joining the Army was something and that’s all.

I won’t say that since giving up on that goal I’ve gone out and conquered the world or anything, but it’s nice that I can finally believe in myself and what I can accomplish.

My heart goes out to those who do choose to serve our country. I really hope that our government can get their act together and treat the Military with the respect, honor, and basic decency that they deserve.

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3 Weeks Down

I’m proud to say that I’ve completed 3 weeks on the diet and today I weighed in at … 166!!! That means that I’ve lost 7 pounds! Honestly, I’m still amazed that I’m eating so much more than I was before and the pounds continue to disappear. I still get all discouraged if I’ve eaten “too much”, feeling like I’ve just blown another diet opportunity. But this diet obviously doesn’t work that way.

I’m still mostly interested in what results I can get after 8 weeks of being faithful to this diet. Then I can know for sure if this diet has more long term results. I’m already used to seeing results after a couple weeks of trying just about anything new. 8 weeks means something different.

What I’m not used to is seeing results after eating as much as I am and basically no efforts in the gym. My goal for this week will be to bring the exercise back. If the diet alone is producing results, kicking my ass in the gym should only contribute more. I would really love it if I could lose 20 pounds in the 8 week period. I’ve already lost 7, now I have 13 to go in 5 weeks to meet that goal.

As long as I continue to drop weight, I’ll be happy. 🙂 I still have 46 pounds before I reach my goal weight.


170

Down 3 pounds on the new diet. This is amazing. I’ve hit my first weight loss goal so tomorrow I’m getting a mani/pedi.

I’ve gone back and forth with my motivation level for doing a whole foods, plant based diet for a very long time. I think that up until now, I’ve just always checked out mentally before I really gave it a try. Perhaps I was so afraid of failure, or I wasn’t ready to really commit to a healthy lifestyle to get the healthy body that I want. Not anymore baby!

I decided to give it a go after watching “Forks Over Knives”. If you’re interested, it’s available on instant play on Netflix. There was a lot of compelling information in the documentary about a whole foods, plant based diet and several examples of normal people who adopted the diet and saw incredible results. I decided to commit to 8 weeks on the diet.

I don’t expect to never struggle again with diet. Hardly. But these last 4 days and subsequent weight loss have been pretty encouraging. There’s been an element of detoxing involved and that’s probably not the funnest part of this diet, but that should go away soon if it hasn’t already.

Let me tell you, I’ve been eating so much food. Anytime I’m hungry I’ll eat a bowl of fruit or something. I keep eating so much food that I think, “great, now I’m going to screw up this diet too by overindulging”, and yet I wake up every morning feeling ravenous.

I keep thinking that giving up meat, dairy, excessive sugar, and refined oils is such a small sacrifice when in return you can lose weight, have more energy, and be proactive about your health. I’m just in such a great mood. 🙂


Late Night Ramblings…

I hate admitting that I’m not perfect. Even though my flaws are very obvious, one of my biggest flaws is that I just can’t stand the idea that I’m not as great as I’d like to be.

Last year, all I did was obsess about weight loss, and now I’ve gained about 20-25 pounds back in a manner of just a few months. How embarrassing, pathetic, and ultimately telling about the type of person that I am. I’m clearly not in control of my body. I pushed myself to such an extreme last year without really working on my issues with food and exercise, that now as I’m faced with the whole weight problem all over again, I’ve got repetitive stress injuries holding me back.

The reality is that I cannot expect to lose weight biggest loser style. I have to really get in control of my life. Now looking back at my efforts last year, I realize that I was doing all those things, the exercising crazy amounts of time, the extreme calorie cutting, as a way of procrastinating dealing with my actual issues with food and healthy lifestyle.

I started this stupid blog as a way of motivating me to lose that last little bit of weight. I told myself that if I put my goals and was brutally honest on the internet, that would force me to lose the weight. Ever since I “failed” to achieve my goal, I’ve been staying away from this blog because I don’t want to own the fact that I did fail to lose the weight. Not only that but I let my failure completely get the better of me and I’ve gone in the complete opposite direction with my weight loss. I feel like I need to be brutally honest with myself finally.

Here we go- I failed to lose all the weight I set out to. I gave myself an entire year to do it, and still couldn’t handle that commitment. As soon as I failed on that goal, I became depressed and let the whole thing go down the drain. I am now 25 pounds heavier than I was at my lowest point a few months ago. I still have problems with binge eating, I hate working out, and now even more so because of my injuries. I’m much happier when I’m at a lower weight. Losing weight will only propel me forward. I really want to be in control enough of my life to have it reflected in my body. Am I capable of doing this? absolutely.


Truth and Reconciliation

When I got my drivers license I was not looking forward to the weight question. At that point my weight comfortably sat somewhere around 150-160. At different times my weight had dropped a bit, but any time I lost weight it would always creep back up to my comfortable zone. I had just started another diet and that day weighed in at 147. I was pretty optimistic and kept telling myself I was going to lose some real weight this time. So naturally, since I wanted to continue losing weight, I didn’t want to put a number on my drivers license that might to be inaccurate in a while. At least that’s what I told myself. I decided to say 137. It was lying by ten pounds, but if I’d said my goal weight that would’ve been a more obvious lie, and 137 didn’t sound like so bad of a number.

Unfortunately, it never was true. 147 was probably the lowest I got. My weight kept creeping up higher and higher. The misrepresentation on my driver’s license was getting worse and worse. When I got married, I had to get a new license because of the name change. I remember dreading the weight question. When it came to that time, the lady just said, “Any change in weight?” In this moment I realized that I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself by admitting my weight to this stranger. Thinking I’d won I responded, “No.”. Then she looked away from her computer to me, literally sizing me up. She could obviously tell that I didn’t weigh 137. This was a lie of about 50 pounds. She clarified, “Still 137?” Already embarrassed and caught in my lie, I looked in the opposite direction and said, “Yes.” I can’t adequately describe the embarrassment I feel at telling that stupid lie. I could have said a higher weight without owning my true weight. The lie didn’t need to be that blatantly obvious. Since that moment, anytime I’ve looked at my license I’ve felt shame for something so silly.

But today, guess how much I weigh? 137. It’s pretty amazing that I can say that in complete honesty. I actually weigh the same as my driver’s license claims I do. I’ve been lying about my weight for many years now. What a stupid thing to lie about? Anyone looking at me could make a pretty good guess at what I weigh, or what I weighed. It’s nice to not feel embarrassed by my weight. But I haven’t been embarrassed about my weight for some time now. When I first started losing weight, I decided to be “out with it”. I pretty much told everyone how much I weighed and the people close to me have been hearing updates on my weight number all year. It was actually quite liberating for me to finally be honest about my weight. For so long I attempted to hide my weight, but only I was fooled.

It’s crazy that the weight on my driver’s license was THAT important to me. It was so important that a card with my picture on it said I was a lower weight than I am. I’ve been putting off getting my horizontal license for when the weight loss is over. Part of me will definitely like putting an even lower number on that card with a thinner picture of my face on it. But the closer I get to my goal, the less I care about the number on my license. No one will be looking at that license to know whether I’m in shape or not. They’ll look directly at me and will be able to know exactly how dedicated I am to my fitness. That will be more awesome than any number.